Today I had a bad run. I’m not talking eh, a bit bad. I’m talking achy, shitty, exhausting, can’t get out of your head, contemplating throwing yourself into oncoming traffic kind of run.It happens. All runners have them .
As M.J. said, ‘you are not alone.’
Here is how one’s feelings may break down.
Sometimes you just know. You’re lying in bed, looking at the ceiling, checking the temperature, mapping out your run, thinking about how long you have, thinking about your daily plan, really thinking through anything to avoid getting into your sneaks.
You feel it. The uncertainty sets in that you’re going to have a shitty, shitty run. Do I have to poop? Are my hips too tight? Is that a cold coming on? Cough, cough I’m sick. You run through your list of excuses – anxious to just go. But you push. You make it out the door, listening to your body tell you no every step for the next mile.
Why. Why did I do this. The sucky run sinks in. This hurts, that hurts. It’s too late to turn back. 3 more miles of hell.
WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF – You curse your choice to run. You curse your decision to even train. Should you just stop? Call a cab? Uber?
I’ve hit this point many times. You’re on the brink of tears. You feel hopeless and defeated.
You have a deep feeling in the pit of your stomach. You can’t believe you stopped to stretch. You can’t believe you ran so slow. You can’t believe it was so shitty. Am I cut out for this?
The good news now, is it’s over. Those miles are logged, and you know the next one HAS to be better.
The bottom line is these bad, shitty runs show us how strong we are. They teach us that sometimes mind wins over matter and matter wins over mind.